Rethinking competition: How to foster healthy rivalry in 4-H
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EmailEven in competitive situations, you can balance your competitive spirit with kindness and support.
At some point or another, we will find ourselves experiencing a competitive event, whether as a participant or cheering on someone else. Competitive events are often thought of as athletic competitions, livestock, dairy or horse shows, debates or spelling bees. However, we can face competitive situations each and every day: situations like trying to find an open parking space on a busy Saturday morning, trying to purchase the last concert ticket, or simply trying to beat the microwave before it beeps. No matter what form it takes, competition can motivate us to do our best. But it is also important that we balance that drive with kindness and support for others.
We have all heard the saying, “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.” For many of us, this lesson comes during childhood, where everyone may get a trophy, ribbon or snack at the end of a game. As young people get older, the competition gets tougher and not everyone wins. Despite the natural interest to showcase our hard work and sacrifice, we shouldn’t lose sight of the values that 4-H teaches within the four H’s of head, heart, hands and health.
In any competitive situation—whether everyone wins or only one person does—young people can practice good sportsmanship. Michigan State University Extension recommends demonstrating these qualities alongside the competition:
- Trustworthiness. Be honest and take ownership. Return lost items or admit when the ball went out on you.
- Respect. Show respect to others and yourself. or speak poorly about competitors. Shake hands after a tough match.
- Responsibility. Own your actions. Apologize if needed and hold yourself accountable for what happens on and off the field.
- Fairness. Play by the rules. Read and follow guidelines without trying to bend them.
- Caring. Support others, even in competition. Help someone up when they fall or assist with a runaway sheep in the show ring.
- Citizenship. Be a role model. Represent your team, club or community in a positive way—even when things don’t go your way.
Healthy competition teaches young people to aim higher, practice sportsmanship and handle both winning and losing with grace. It’s normal to feel frustrated when a decision or scoring doesn’t go your way, but returning to these values helps us respond with integrity and support others through it. Whether you're trying to win the county fair, score the game-winning goal or simply beat the microwave—kindness and support are always part of playing the game well.
To learn more about the competitive events offered through 4-H, contact your local MSU Extension office.
