Child & Family Development

Talking about nutrition can be tricky. Helpful advice can sometimes sound like shame, causing more harm than good. Has your child ever been that kid who calls out acquaintances or even strangers on their unhealthy habits? Children often misinterpret or restate what they learn from adults in such a way that lacks social finesse. They might say things like, “That person eats too much,” or “They’re not healthy,” or even, “Why are they fat?” While children might just be making statements of observation, these comments can embarrass others and confuse children about what is okay to say.

To add to this confusion, nutrition advice can seem contradictory to children:

• Wasting food is bad — but eating too much is unhealthy.
• Eating too much is unhealthy — but telling someone that can be hurtful.
• Being obese can affect health — but pointing it out can be body shaming or bullying.

Here are four tips for adults to teach children how to talk about food in a way that avoids confusion, makes sense and feels kind:

1. Focus on Health, Not Looks

Talk about how food helps the body work well, not about being skinny or losing weight. Avoid comments like, “You shouldn’t eat that, it’ll make you fat,” which can lead to shame or a focus on unhealthy diet culture. Instead, say things like this to children:

• “Eating breakfast helps you concentrate in school.”
• “Water keeps your body cool and protects your teeth better than soda.”
• “Eating a fruit will give you more fiber and other nutrients than drinking a sugary juice beverage.”

Take this a step further by explaining to children why we focus on health rather than looks so they can learn how to frame their own comments.

2. Encourage Empathy

It is okay to teach that some choices are not healthy but remind children they can be role models instead of critics. Emphasize to children that everyone has different needs and challenges.

If they ask why someone is overweight, answer gently:
“You can’t know a person’s health from just their body shape or weight. There are lots of reasons for people’s bodies to be different, and there isn’t a “best” body type. What matters most is trying your best to be healthy — and also kind.”

3. Teach Balance

Emphasize to children that health is about balance, and there can be different ways to achieve that. Is high-fat food generally unhealthy for you? Yes. Can most people still eat it occasionally? Yes.

Similarly, it is important to stay physically active, but also important not to go overboard with exercise. Show balance with examples like these:

“Let’s enjoy a treat and also eat some veggies today.”

If children question someone else’s choices, remind them that everyone balances health in their own way, and that can involve different choices at different times for different people. If they say something that seems off—like “Only skinny people are healthy”—use it as a chance to discuss. Ask them where they heard that and gently explain that health comes in many shapes and sizes.

4. Keep It Simple and Honest

Children don’t need complicated nutrition lessons to learn how to talk about health. Using clear, simple language makes nutrition easier for children to understand so they can begin making choices for their own bodies. At the same time, it helps them frame their comments to others in non-judgmental ways. For example, this is a message for children:

What someone else eats and how often they eat is their business — your job is to listen to your own body. Are you full now, or hungry? What would the best food be to feel full right now?”

Bottom Line:

Let children ask questions about food, health and bodies. When we talk about food with kindness and clarity, we help children build a healthy relationship with eating—and with themselves and others.