MSU Extension 4-H Military Family Programs

Lily Hates Goodbyes 

• Title: Lily Hates Goodbyes 
• Author: Jerilyn Marler 
• Illustrator: Nathan Soltenberg 
• Publisher:  Quincy Companion Books 
• Date of Publication: 2012 
• Audience Age: 2 and up 

Summary 

Lily Hates Goodbyes is a story about a little girl whose dad is deployed. She talks about how much she hates goodbyes and some of the strong emotions she feels while her dad is gone away.

Pre-Deployment Activities 

Draw a picture for you and your service member of something special you share between you both. It could be something like the moon from the book or a special activity you both like to do together. Keep one picture to hang up at home and give one to your service member to take with them. You can both look at them when you are apart and know that you are still connected. Make a memory box with your service member like Lily has in the book. Decorate a shoe box with drawings, pictures and other fun items.

During-Deployment Activities 

Use the memory box that you made with your service member to keep items you would like to share with your service member when they return. Items might include pictures, report cards, programs, or other special items. Talk about ways to get the mad and sad out. Try things like taking deep breaths, yelling loudly, talking about feelings, having a special item that you can hold or having a special quiet place to go.

Post-Deployment Activities 

Share your memory box with your service member. Talk about all your memories of the items that are in the box. Choose a book to read together at bed time. Read the book together every night, just the two of you for a special, quite time together.

Supporting Military Families During Deployment with Books & Activities

Deployment involves moving an individual or military unit within the country or to another country. A mission or task might include training, supporting communities during times of disaster, helping foreign countries or fighting in a war. The many changes happening with each departure and return create difficulties for both service members and their families.

Michigan State University (MSU) Extension and Michigan 4-H are committed to supporting the more than 20,000 Michigan military children and youth, and their families, through programming and community education. 

Programs for Military Families Include: 

• 4-H clubs on installations and in communities
• "4-H 101" and "4-H 201" training for military staff
• Operation: Military Kids (OMK) - supporting children of deployed soldiers
• Speak Out for Military Kids (SOMK) - preparing teens to speak on military life and deployment 
• Hero Packs - saying thank you to military children and youth
• Military 4-H Club Grants - supporting 4-H clubs for military youth and integrating them into county 4-H programs
• Community Awareness Training - educating the public on issues facing military families experiencing a deployment
• Special recognition events during Month of the Military Child and Month of the Military Family 
• Educational and recreational events and opportunities for military families 

4-H Military Family Book Sheets

The 4-H Military Family Book Sheets help parents and guardians find books and activities to help their children during various stages of their service members’ deployments. Each book sheet contains a summary of the book, author and publication details, and activities that they can use with their children pre-, during or post-deployment to extend the message of the book. To find each book, check with your local library, bookstore or online retailer. 

• Before reading: Show your child the front and back cover of the book. Ask him or her to guess what the book is about. 
• While reading: Stop at any time if something comes up that you or your child would like to talk about. 
• After reading: Spend time talking about the story. 

Learn More! 

Connect with us on Facebook: Search "Michigan Operation: Military Kids" and "Michigan 4-H." 

For more information on supporting military families, visit the following websites: 

• MSU Extension: (msue.anr.msu.edu)
• Michigan 4-H Youth Development: (www.4-hmilitarypartnerships.org)
• Operation: Military Kids: (http://www.operationmilitarykids.org)