MSU Extension Child & Family Development

Ages & Stages

Preschooler A child who is 3 to 5 years of age.

Young child A child who is 0 to 8 years of age.

Minding Our Language

Families come in all shapes, sizes, and styles. A “family” may include people who are related by blood, by marriage, and by choice. “Parents” may be biological, step-, foster, adoptive, legally appointed, or something else. When we use the words “family” and “parent” in these materials, we do so inclusively and with great respect for all adults who care for and work with young people.

Counts to 20. Check. Knows the alphabet. Hmmm, gets a little shaky around L M N O, sometimes but, mostly a check. Identifies basic shapes. Check. Knows basic colors. Check . . . Well, except for green—we’ll call that one a work in progress.

Parents often think that knowing the alphabet and being able to count to 20 are the most important school readiness skills for their 4- or 5-year-olds to have learned. However, most teachers say that kids are prepared for kindergarten if they:

• Are healthy, rested, and well-nourished.
• Can communicate their needs and thoughts.
• Have developed self-help skills such as dressing themselves.
• Have had their vision and hearing tested and any problems addressed.
• Know their names.
• Can follow basic rules and routines.

Teachers recognize that children develop at different rates. Therefore, school readiness isn’t all about what children know or can do. A combination of social, emotional, and physical development factors is what makes them ready to start school.

Try some of the following tactics to help your child prepare for school:

• Let them dress themselves in the morning. Allow them to choose their own outfit, with a little help if they need it. Give them a chance to button their shirt, zip their pants, or tie their own shoes. Offer them help when they ask and encourage their efforts.
• Visit new places. Check out a different park, children’s museum, or grocery store than you usually visit with them. Talk about the different things that you see. Ask your child if there are any other new places they would like to visit and if you can, take them there.
• Eat meals family style. That is, place all the dishes for the meal on the table and let your child help themselves to the different foods. Encourage them to use a serving fork or spoon to serve themselves and a smaller fork or spoon to eat. Have them help you clear the table at the end of the meal.
• Pick a pattern. Lay several colored blocks or beads in a line in a simple repeating pattern. Ask them to choose the color or shape that would come next in the pattern. For example, lay out a blue square, a red rectangle, a blue square, and a red rectangle. Ask your child which block they think would be next. As they get better at the game, add another shape and color.
• Give them directions. Make an everyday chore fun by taking turns giving each other directions. For example, if you’re leaving to run errands, ask your child to get their shoes and jacket and put them on. As they do so, make up silly directions such as, “Put one arm through your coat, then put a shoe on.” Then give them a chance to give you silly directions, too.
• Read a factual book about something that interests them. Let them choose the book at the library and read it together. Ask them to tell you why they picked out that book and what they like about it. (“What do you like about airplanes?” “Three books on the shelf had lots of facts about trees, what made you pick this one?”) Ask them to hold the book while you read and let them turn the pages. Hand them the book upside down or backwards and have them turn it the right way so you can start reading. Then ask them to point out where you should start reading.
• Sing songs together. Teach your preschooler some of your favorite songs from when you were a kid. Ask them to teach you songs they’ve learned in daycare or preschool. Practice singing a children’s song like “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” with them with different voices such as a little kid voice or an opera star voice. Sing loudly, then quietly, then loudly again.
• Play a parrot game. Say a word you think they’ve never heard before and ask them to repeat it after you. Look at the ingredients on food labels or read the newspaper together for inspiration. Walk around your house together and have them name the objects they see.
• Label their feelings. When your child is mad, sad, excited, or angry, talk about what they’re feeling. Ask them to describe how they feel, and how they can change their feelings if they want to. (“You said you feel sad. How would you rather feel? What can you do to help yourself feel that way?”)
• Play “Follow the Leader.” Help them learn how to run, jump, skip, climb, throw, and catch a ball during your game. Take turns being the leader, and include things like hopping on one foot, skipping down the hall, climbing on pillows or outdoor play equipment, and tossing a ball back and forth.
• Clean up together. Set a regular time each night to put toys and books away. Your child can help you by putting their books in a basket or on a shelf and picking up their toys. Be sure to set a good example and pick up your things, too!
• Play a game of “Statues” together. Take turns being It and telling the other person how to move. (“Walk slowly in a circle.” “Flap your arms like a bird.” “Pretend you’re climbing the stairs.” “Be a scary tree.” “Do a silly walk.”) When the person who is It says “Freeze!” the other person needs to stop just as they are, like a statue.
• Eat breakfast together every morning. Give your preschooler enough time to get ready and eat before you leave the house. Give them two or three food options to choose from for breakfast.
• Provide nutritious meals for your family and try to eat together when you can. Making healthy food choices is a learned habit! Try to eat five servings of fruits and vegetables each day. Hang a coloring sheet on the refrigerator that your child can use to keep track of how many fruits and vegetables they have eaten each day.
• Use a consistent bedtime routine every night. For example, you could help your preschooler get ready for bed, talk about the day, read three books together, and turn out the lights. Knowing what to expect—the rules and routine—will help them get a good night’s sleep.
• Encourage your child’s sense of responsibility. Ask them to help set the table for dinner or put their clothes in the laundry. Encourage them to do these things each day.
• Play “Simon Says.” Take turns being the leader (Simon) and calling out ways for the follower to move. (Remember that Simon needs to move with the directions, too.

Find Out More

MSU Extension provides the following resources for parents and caregivers of preschoolers and young children at no or low cost. Be sure to check out these and other MSU Extension resources available at www.extension.msu.edu.

Extension Extras (https://bit.ly/2LC2vdX) – These compilations of news articles, activities, parenting tips and advice are published online Monday through Friday. The resources are designed for parents and caregivers of young children who are home all day during the novel coronavirus pandemic. Each day has a theme: Mindful Mondays, Tips on Tuesday, Working Wednesdays, Thinking Thursday, and Fun Fridays.

Extension Extras Enrichment Kits (https://bit.ly/35QAplQ) – These kits feature five or six early childhood activities with learning goals focused in areas such as social and emotional health, literacy, and STEM; a supply list; suggested children’s books; introduction letters explaining how to use the materials; and an evaluation. The kits are available as free downloads.

Early Childhood Videos (https://bit.ly/3ioyEkS) – These short videos offer parents and caregivers of young children information on parenting topics. Titles include “Perspective Taking,” “Family Movies,” “Goals of Misbehavior,” “Using Thinking and Feeling Words,” “The Waiting Game,” and “When Siblings Fight.”

Building Early Emotional Skills (BEES) in Young Children (https://bit.ly/38XW4KI) – This page provides links to a variety of free online parenting courses, workshops, and events offered by MSU Extension for parents and caregivers of young children aged 0 to 3.

Parenting the Preschooler: Social Competence and Emotional Well-Being © 2021 Michigan State University Board of Trustees. The fact sheets in this series may be copied for purposes of 4-H and other nonprofit educational programs and for individual use with credit to Michigan State University Extension.