MSU Extension Child & Family Development

As children get older, parents inevitably face the question of if their children are old enough to stay home alone. While this is a very exciting time for children, it can be very stressful and scary for their parents. Child experts, including the America Academy of Pediatrics, generally agree that for most children, 11-12 years-old is the appropriate time to begin staying home alone for a few hours. However, because every child is different, this will vary. Just because your child’s best friend has been staying home alone for months doesn’t mean that this is right choice for your child or your family. But with some advance planning and preparation, you can help build your child’s growing independence and be ready to approach this milestone with confidence.

When deciding if your child is ready to stay home alone, there are several key factors to consider. How mature is your child? Where do you live? How close is your support network? How far away will you be? What are the laws in your state? Michigan State University Extension recommends the following guidelines when deciding if your child is ready to be home alone.

Emotional maturity

Do you think your child is old enough and mature enough to take care of themselves? Every child’s maturity level is different, and every parent’s comfort level will vary. Consider the following questions:

• Does your child feel confident and secure when they’re alone?
• Are they interested in and willing to stay home alone?
• Do they know how to handle fear, loneliness and boredom?
• Do they know how to solve small problems on their own?

Ability to exercise caution

Does your child tend to think before they act? Or leap before they look? This is especially important when leaving a child home alone, as they will have access to things like the liquor cabinet and may be tempted by being alone and unsupervised. Consider the following questions:

• Would your child make good judgement on their own?
• Do they have (and use) common sense?
• Do they consider how their actions affect others?
• Do they understand what would be an emergency?

Safety

While we hope nothing will go wrong, does your child know what to do if something happens? It’s impossible to predict what could happen – from a severe storm to a gas leak or a stranger at the door. Consider the following questions:

• Does your child remember and practice basic safety rules and instructions?
• Can they follow other rules such as not opening the door to strangers and not posting on social media that they are home alone?
• Do they recognize danger and know how to stay safe?
• Do they know when to get help? Do they know who and how to call?

Once you have decided your child is ready to stay home alone, it is important that you take time to plan ahead to ensure a successful experience. Make sure your child has access to a phone to call you or other key family members. Post important numbers in a visible location. Ensure your child knows when and how to call 911. Be sure to have a first aid kit with basic supplies and a fire extinguisher or fire blanket available and easily accessible. Show your child where to find things such as a flashlight or plunger to solve basic problems they could encounter.

Next, decide on the rules for your child when they are home alone. Are they allowed to cook? What appliances can they use? How should they care for pets when you are gone? Do you want them to answer the door? Can they leave the house to play with friends or have friends over? Remember to set rules around media use while you’re gone. Other helpful ideas include requiring your child to check in when they first get home and having a set list of daily chores and tasks they can accomplish to keep busy. You should also have clear expectations about friends: who is allowed over and where youth can go with their friends. If they are inviting friends over, make sure the other child’s parents know there will not be an adult in your home.

As you begin to leave your child home alone, start with short times such as a quick run to the grocery store. As you and your child both become more comfortable, you can gradually increase the amount of time your child is home alone. This is an ongoing process in building your children’s independence. Soon enough, they will be driving, going away to college or moving out on their own. It is your responsibility to help scaffold these growing skills in your children.

For more information on child development, adolescence, parenting or to find parenting education classes and resources, visit MSU Extension.